All well planned!

Semalam ade satu ayat terngiang ngiang kat telinga aku. 

Wa qulil hamdulillah. Dengan fasayarallah. Aku pun tak tau itu ayat mana. Surah mana. Itu ayat ke tak pun tak sure  tapi duk terngiang ngiang. 

(Style aku ni kalau ade benda terngiang, aku takleh nk get over unless i hear it kalau itu lagu, and unless i read the line if its in a book, or unless i search for it if its a person gitu). 

So lepas solat asar. Aku bukak apps Quran. Search. Tulis قل الحمد لله. Semua start dengan qul. Aku tak nak. Aku nak cari yang ada wa kat depan! (Cerewat gak aku ni -_-) tapi tak jumpa. 

So aku tekan the nearest one. Surah anNamlu ayat 59. Apa yang tarik perhatian aku is the perkataan اصطفى pada ayat tu. 

So.. Aku pun baca. Baca.. baca.. Kenapa aku rasa macam tak pernah dengar ayat ni?! Kenapa macam ayat baru?! Kenapa rasa nikmat gila baca! Sedap, dari segi bahasa, cantik betul susunan dan rhythm! Isi ayat lagi la! Rasa macam Allah tengah bercakap ngan aku! Cantik sangat, aku kept on reading, tiba dah sampai ending of the surah. 

Ending dia,

وقل الحمد لله سيريكم اياته فتعرفونها. 

(The very same ayah that has been on my mind.)

Aturan Allah? Yep. Allah buat aku tak jumpa pada mulanya , pasal nak suruh aku baca kehebatan content dan bahasa QuranNya. 

Tapi still at the end, Allah kasi jugak hilang aku punya ke(ngiang)an, macam still jugak grant my wish :) 

tho ayat sayurikum tu tak sama dengan fasayarallah.. Tapi dah dekat sama. 

Dari mana otak aku kenal ayat ni pun aku tak tau. Tapi satu benda aku pasti, aku sedar betapa aku jauh ngan Allah. Tapi Allah Maha Penyayang, still tarik balik aku kepada Dia in ways that i never expected :') 

and btw, ayat fasayarallah tu pun sama indahnya. 

و قل اعملوا فسيرى الله عملكم و رسوله. 

Buat lah. Kerja lah. Beramal lah. Pasal Allah tengok kau, Allah tak sia siakan. Tak kan sia siakan  orang tak appreciate takpa. Fasayarallah, Allah akan tengok. 

A long night

I just got back from a ceramah by Tuan Haji Ahmad Azzam (father of late Ahmad Ammar) and i feel extraordinarily inspired! I think that if i dont write it now, I won't easily find any other time with the chance to share what has blowned my mind. (I mean with the same feeling, and same inspiration) because feelings can fade and they will fade. And of course, the first 24 hours is the best period to recall everything. 

It's a long story! And it started with me missing the bus, haha. I was so dissapointed that the bus left me -_- i was so eager to go to the ceramah. But I realise that lately ive been in so many situations where i lose some then i gain some more. So not being able to catch up with the bus lead me to the nearest surau where there was a maghrib kuliyyah discussing about the trials of akhirruzamaan. It was full of so much lessons that I dont know how to portray it in this writing. The Kuliyyah was given by Ustaz Shahrizal. He taught me once in my fourth semester and i really admire the way he conveys his messages, It's always soft and relatable and i find no harsh elements at all. Dia macam memang cakap tu untuk perubahan kita, seolah-olah ustaz memang nakkan yang terbaik untuk kita, (dan memang ya pun!)

He is so humble, and there was one sentence that caught my attention during the kuliyah was that he said

"Saya ni bukan perfect, sebab tu saya bagi peringatan ni dengan cara saya perlahankan percakapan saya, saya kawal nada saya, supaya pesanan tu masuk ke dalam hati saya terlebih dahulu. Manusia ni sangat perlukan peringatan :)"

Anyway, as how the tajuk is. Memang banyak sangat fitnah akhir zaman. And note that when it's the word fitnah, it doesn't necessarily means as what the Bahasa Melayu defines it ; to slander.The subject is very wide. Fitnah means test and trials. Which can conclude anything! 

And it's really scary just having the thought that a person can be a believer in the morning but then an infidel at night. 

Lebih-lebih lagi bila zaman dah serba moden ni! Mesej palsu jadi viral. Fitnah. Social media jadi pemudah cara untuk mengumpat orang. Fitnah. Perempuan diatas pentas disanjung dan digilai. Fitnah. Laman web yang 18x boleh akses tanpa ada rekod(private browsing). Fitnah. itu memang tiny bit of all the fitnahs that is happening now. Pagi solat, dah menuju petang, terlalu sibuk dah lupa nak solat untuk set petang (asar, maghib, isya). Itu juga fitnah

Itu dalam masyarakat. Pemimpin ? kadang ada orang kata bila rosaknya rakyat lihatlah pada pemimpin, pasti semua itu terjadi kerana mereka yang terlebih dulu membiarkan diri mereka hancur ditelan kehendak diri.The world is so messed up man! People value money more than lifes. People use people as tools to get materialistic things that they love. When honestly, it should be the other way around :( 

What I can remember and I feel that it's really important, as Ustaz Shahrizal kept on stressing on about it :

1. If we want to live the real Islam, we must prepare ourselves to be the Ghuraba (strangers).

Living the true Islam life in this decade will be very tough. People would neglect the religion and get engaged into the luxuries of world to an extent getting ready early for prayers would be something weird! But that's how it will be, the love for world would be "paradise-ish", and the readiness for the hereafter would be "hell fire-ish". And of course, people will focus more on the worldly affairs. So.. Ready to be a Ghuraba ?

2. Always keep in mind that there are Angels that are keeping track of our life, what we do, the decisions we take ; every millisecond 

Angels are the most devoted servants. They won't miss a single thing of what we're doing! So yeah, think thoroughly before you decide to do something that won't benefit any of us. Basically, live life good. Be kind, spread good and make the world a better place, constantly.

3. Always speak of good words

Because it will effect the way we think, the way we act, the decisions we choose. And keeping good words close to our mouth is always safer :) Dont spread news that we are unsure about it because in the end it will be a bad apple. And ustaz Shahrizal did mention of leaving the traits of a Ruwaibidhoh. They are the ones who utter very nice words, but on the contrary, the dont even know what are they talking about. Their words are either lies, or unbeneficial, and they call upon goodness (that they know less) but they dont do them at all! But sadly, these kind of people bersepah dah sekarang.

The kuliyah ended leaving a great impact in my heart and all that came to surau perhaps. Indeed, this world needs a CHANGE!

Yep, i did miss the bus. But what came in return was priceless.

It's really nothing.

It's the 17th day of February. The 48th day of year 2016. It has been 48 days only, and i feel like it has been such a long year. I have been through so many things in this new year,(well i think i have). As life goes on, i feel like im starting to become more confused about life. It is as if as i grow , i start to know less. I feel so dumb. But i dont want to be dumb. I am dumb but i think that as long as i dont let myself think so, then i am not dumb. But i am still dumb. ugh its just extremely complicated.

crawling up the stairs of an almost twenty years old, i wonder where has all the fun of life gone to. GONE. are the days when life used to be so much fun, and full of wonders. i force myself to think positive, but how shall i think positive when there is nothing to think of ? ugh i just dont really know where im gong with this writing.

Life is actually beautiful. When the heart too, is as beautiful. Life is full of wonders and beauty. But it can only be seen by the heart that is in tranquility. Qalbun saleem. A heart that is in peace. And as i write those very meaningful words, my heart feels heavy, my eyes are filled with tears. Why? Because i miss that very sweet essence in this heart of mine. Frankly, i have been drowned into this world. I am deceived by the temporary fake world. And i know the fact that i am not the only one.

How many of us have been trying so hard to impress another person that we assume means so much to us? How many of us have been thinking about solely only our self, regardless of the people around us? These are two different situations, and look exactly different. But they meet at one point. Both are world-centered. There's more to that, chasing around for the luxuries of the world, the 4.0's and all A's, all the likes and favorites for that perfect-angled picture. Really! Being world-centered in the heart is very tiring :( yet, we all find our self doing them with full effort!

What is it that the heart actually wants? Have we ever take the time to sit and hear what the heart screams for? Or are we too busy going through our life, chasing this and that, not having time to even hear the heart PLEADING  for us to stop? The real contentment of life is dwarfed by greed that lies in at the bottom of our heart. The heart didnt ask for greed, but we planted them without the heart's consent (?) so is heart and our self two different things? If not then, why do we sometimes have this constant fight when we think we're doing it right, but some voice inside us says the opposite ? 

So actually life is full of questions. And how many of us has let the curiosity deep down inside us die of our ignorance ? Life is indeed full of questions, some are answered. While some remain undiscovered. But will answers exist if we dont look for them? are answers always there or does it only appear when we question something ? But we dont. We are too busy living the life of robots, that we dont notice all the wonders being engulfed by time.

Yes life, is honestly running out of time. But time will go slow, as we indulge our self in the passion of revealing answers for beautiful questions. And for that, life is beautiful.