Kuda made us like this

Harini teman adik main kuda. I mean, adik-adik. Biasa hantar je, hari ni angin adik aku lain, dia suruh aku tunggu and rakam dia naik kuda gracefully lahh konon. Nak dapat scene-scene macam dalam cerita-cerita tu kot. But anyway, whatever lah. Aku pun ikutlah cakap dia which is something new sebab aku dikenali dengan kedegilan aku haha, acah. 

Nak dijadikan cerita, masa dorang rehat, dorang duduk kat aku. Pastu kawan adik aku pun datang join sembang ngan kitorang. Tak ada masalah pun, tapi 

Kawan adik aku ni dia pandai bercakap, to be specific. Pandai cakap 'loyar buruk'ly. Sembang macam orang bussines. Runs in the blood kot, ayah dia memang bussinesman pun (aku tanya)

Almost at the end of our conversation, dia tanya adik aku 

"Cuba teka sape saya? eh tak, sape ayah saya?"

Ingatkan nak duga kitorang pay attention ke tak or recall balik segala cerita dia duk bebel dari tadi about his whoooole life.

"Contractor ? " entah kenapa adik aku boleh teka benda takda kaitan.

"Salah, orang lah. Ayah saya orang :p " (adik aku rolls eyes haha) 

Pastu dia ni pegi sekolah JK cina (tho dia melayu)

Aku mintak la "Cuba cakap cina sikit dik!"

"Pu yao"

"Apa maksud tu ?"

"Tak nak" (dia gelakkan aku dan aku roll eyes)

Tu haa. Well at least he did speak chinese kan hahaa, though the word didn't seem like he did it sincerely haha.

Pastu dia nak sambung lagi hikayat hidup dia

"Mak saya suka kereta yang jenis dua pintu. Dia.."

Adik aku potong . " Kejap, mak awak perempuan kan ? ke orang jugak" Hahahhaha tu dia counter attack.  (this time, dia roll eyes. Yes!)

Nak habaq mai ; manusia ni memang ada evil side dia. Kecik-kecik pun.

Marfu' Baris Atas

Pagi tadi dalam pukul 8.30 aku pegi bilik mak aku. Mama dalam sehari mesti dia dia akan luang masa tadabbur Quran, (she's a Quran lover i tell ya)

And sebenarnya aku pegi kat mama sebab nak suruh rasa nasi goreng yang aku masak paginya

kurang gula ke lebih ke apa tak cukup, lepas tu tiba-tiba mama tanya:

"Kakcik, mama nak tanyalah.."

Ayo soalan macam semacam scary. Sebab mama paused for awhile sebelum betul-betul tanya.

"Mama selalu confuse dengan hafalan mama, macam mana nak tentukan ayat tu jadi mu'minin ke mu'minun ? or Qanitin and Qanitun ? Or Allahu ke Allaha ? time nak baca dalam solat abih lupa"

Aku memang uih tunduk malu sesaat. Zaman sekarang punya la sibuk nak kejar and hargai masa, sampai dalam solat pun baca surah Al-Asr. Demi masa! Okay. Pastu aku explain la, as i am currently the only one in the family yang betul-betul belajar Arab ken (note: currently) 

Aku cakap la,

"Dalam arab ni dia ada tiga keadaan untuk nouns. Marfu, mansub, majrur . Nak terangkan secara real apa maksudnya panjaaang cerita ma, it's easier to say that : (Marfu = baris depan) , (Mansub = baris atas ) and (Majrur = baris bawah) " cakap sepintas lalu gitu je,

but mama was writing it down, nicely  :) terharu looking at the appreciation for just this kind of tiny bit of sharing. Berapa kerat je orang ada appreciate every single word that the cikgu cakap ? Ada. Cuma tak ramai. And untuk mama, catat apa yang anaknya share for the sake of ilmu... how beautiful.

sambung lagi. 

"Marfu ni untuk faa'il (noun yang buat kerja) , mansub ni untuk maf'ulun bihi (noun yang dikerjakan), majrur pulak untuk yang duduk lepas huruf jar. Contoh dia fi (di) 'ala (atas) and the list goes on.."

"Preposition eh ?" tekuuunn je mama duk tulis. 

Then dah habis dengan segala peta minda aku keluarkan, ( i guess tadabbur Quran this morning halted a bit haha) and turned into tadabbur Nahu. Mama was checking if she got it right.

"Marfu' baris atas... mansub baris, eh marfu' baris depan.. mansub baris atas.. majrur bawah"

Mama so comel.

sat sat lagi dah tengahari sikit. pukul 12 gitu.

"Ma! nak dengar tak satu 'pun joke' ni tak ? hahaha " aku dah gelak dulu. Aku memang macam tu, jangan takut nak kawan ngan aku, bcs i'll laugh at my own jokes!

"Jap! kejap kejap . Marfu depan, mansub depan, majrur bawah (dengan jari terangkat angkat) . 

OK, now you can tell me the joke. Gelak banyak nanti hilang ilmu so let me revise first. "

Mama :) dulu mama bukan amik kos agama pon macam aku, tapi dia lagi faham and lagi thiqqoh daripada aku yang pilih aliran tu kat Universitas.

'take one' ?

Bismillah.

Shall i start writing ?

(Because there's always a start for everything!)
i still remember how back then i first started writing. tho the memory is a bit shadowy :) . 
i was 5. i started my first writing of ABC 123 with my left hand! (i was born to be left-handed!)
But after going to kindergarten, all my friends started to tease me saying that i was weird,

"ee kenapa tulis pakai tangan tu ? semua pakai tangan kanan." 

"orang guna tangan kiri untuk basuh air kecik/besar je la!"

"you cant be friends with us. youre pelik"

funny how i actually cared about all those hurtful comments they said. 
It was The first day of school, 
On the same day, i went home and literally practised writing with my right hand!

i guess my little me was trying hard to fit with them cruel classmates :( i can vividly recall how it felt, to be isolated.

That was when i was 5. even a tiny girl can have that kind of feeling. the feeling of wanting to be accepted. 
what more to say of those who are 10 ? 15 ? or even 30 ?
some people just want to feel welcomed, and feel like they belong to something.

And, my little me. so small and innocent. how did she even had the idea that she wasnt accepted ? 

Yep, the comments. 

Those bashful comments, (though of course they were never right), but was uttered upon her face,
she was in delusion. she was deceived by the words of majority. 

and until today. i am right-handed. 



i wish i could give a warm hug to every lost soul out there, who ever felt the same,

i wish i could pat you on the back, and say :

"the world would be incomplete without you
everybody was born different. so its fine i tell you.

we have our own colour, 
no one shall ever paint us with the same brush ;)"


tak tahulah merepek apa ni. lul. random and rambang. veery!